Tuesday, December 09, 2008, 12:53 AM
3 years 1months 23days, total of 1150 days
I've ended my relationship with my gf. This coming Dec is Christmas and as a christian will have alot of event and sessions as to celebrate the birth of Jesus if I'm not wrong. Over the time we're together, she will ask me to attend some of it and I feel very stress. I'm a free thinker and she want me to convert as one before I can marry her and I promised that. I've been asking myself alot of times all this years whether I can really convert to Christianity and that I truly believe it in. I've try to read the bible, ask my friends abt it and attend the services with her. But my answer is still no. I can convert but if my mind is not true to it, it's pointless. My parents is pro Buddhism and even if i convert, our child need to be Christian and my parents will never agree with that and i'll be in a tight spot.
Lately we've been arguing alot over alot of things be in small or big. Difference views and opinions. We've no places to go and nth much to do together. I know I've let you down and I miss out on a very good wife but my mindset is still not marriage as now is career mind for me. I therefore hope that you'll be able to find the bf who is a christian and able to accompany you to all the church and Christianity events which you have told me and long for and I'm unable to fulfil it making you feel lonely. I've given up the challenge and battle to become a christian and I hope you understand. I'm really sorry to have hurt you.
I know I'll regret in the future but if i end now the pain will be smaller compare to later stages of our relationship if I still isn't a christian. I can swear and assure you that I've not cheated on you in our relationship all this time we had been together and it's not because of a change of heart in me and I've really really enjoyed my time spend with you. Really hope we'll still keep in contact and remain as best friends like in the past. You'll always be a part of me.
