Sunday, January 21, 2007, 12:20 PM
a couple of singaporean jokes, enjoy!
#1
Ah Lian ask shopkeeper: Eh Ah chek, u got sell stocking up to knee, boh?
Ah Chek : Lu siao ah! stocking wear up to 'yeo' (waist) only, where got up to the 'nee'(breast) one.
#2
Ah Beng bought a Honda VTI recently and drove to Ah Lian's place to show it to her. So there Ah Beng was bragging the various functions of his new car to his girlfriend.
"This is ah, so fast even the Mata Chia cannot catch ah!"
"Ha! Really ah!!! Steady lah!" said Ah Lian.
"Some more hor, this is Automatic one, vely easy to drive!"
So Ah Lian said, "Let me try! I wan, I wan!"
So Ah Lian took the driver's seat and shifted the gear and floored the & accelerator. The next moment, the car sped backwards and crashed into the lamp-post.
"Alamak! What u doing? U Siao Char Bo! U see lah! Wah Piang eh!" screamed Ah Beng.
"Solee, solee, pai sah lah! No lah, I tot hor, "R" for racing mah!"
#3
The Titanic was sinking, and there weren't enough lifeboats. So the captain had to persuade male passengers to jump into the icy waters to make room for women and children.
To the British he said. "You must act like gentlemen." They jumped.
To the Americans he said, "You can be heroes." They complied.
To the Germans he said, "It's the rule." They obeyed.
To the Japanese he said," It's the consensus." They obliged.
Then came the Singaporean and they just weren't budging until he came up with the appeal: "Free life jackets for those who jumped."
#4
Once upon a time, a group of Ah Bengs stepped into a lounge and wanted the DJ to play the song "Ah Cheng Buey Ro Ti" (In Hokkien means Ah Cheng buys bread). The DJ told them that they only have English songs and told them to re-select another song. The Ah Bengs were very angry and kicked up a bigfuss, claiming the DJ was insulting them. The manager had to intervene in order to calm them down.
Finally, after long talk with Ah Bengs, the manager found out that Ah Bengs actually asking for the song "Unchained Melody" by the Righteous Brothers.
#5
One day, two Ah Lians got into a lift from the 20th storey and want to get down to the ground floor. As they looked at the dial, they could see the number 20 down to number 2. It was then followed by a G. As they not English-educated, they were puzzled and had no idea what does the letter G mean. Suddenly one of them exclaimed excitedly and hit G. When they finally reached the ground floor, the other Ah Lian was so impressed and asked the first Ah Lian, "Wah low!!!, how you know one?" The first Ah Lian reply smugly, "Easy lah.. G for Gero mah..."
Sunday, January 14, 2007, 1:28 PM
someone is coming back frm china after spending abt 3-4mths over there on the 26 this mth. its on friday and her flight will reach sg abt 10pm. when she reach see her liao mus quick take mrt hm cos she will be going hm with her family. hope my cousin remember that she promise to send me there and back! haha. i went to m'sia 5days without her thus she decided to leave for china for 5mth. but think the attachment ended early. she is xiao qi xuan, panick queen, kan chiong queen but she is my love =)
btw the ivp is over for me. we lost to np by afew points and to smu to abt 10points. we're out already thus the last match against nyp doesnt make a diff. i think i've prove to my doubters that im able to defence against taller, bigger and stronger guys and is able to get that rebound. i think in both match i play quite well. although i didnt score much, i got plently of rebounds which im amazed too. i don jump high and its the hard work i put in like boxing out and being hardworking under the basket. and somemore my right thumb was injured and swollen due to an accident but i still play on. though it affected my shooting and freethrow. in total i score only 6points in both match, miss 6 out of 6 freethrow, but im really happy with my defence and rebounds.
ivp ending mean i wont be seeing much of my sp teammates. but hope im able to keep in contact with alan and sean. exams is coming and its time to be hardworking! play hard over and now its study hard!
