Sunday, August 28, 2005, 11:22 AM
i jus woke up. i have being getting weird dreams lately. below are some and those i remember the most.- all my frens suddenly ignore me, leaving me alone and i started walking aimlessly ard a place i donno, looking here and there.- i was driving when suddenly a car bump me and i crash into a lamppost. i didnt die and i jus walk out of the car safe and sound.- i was outside wif px and gme when they suddenly runaway and disappear, when i reach hm my mum was nagging non stop and suddenly she disappear too. and soon i was on an island. by the sea. and its gonna rain and i woke up. i feel very lost everytime i woke up wif this types of dreams. i feel like i have lost or im losing everything ard me. i need assurance frm my frens. im losing them. i really feel alone now. the feeling is jus not right. but i can tell u im not lovesick.all this might be becos im always alone in sch ? except for 1 module wif my own class. monday lunch wif alan(thanks for being there). if not the rest of the time i'll be alone in sch. really quiet. i actually feel im being looked down in sch. cos im a forward module. when i enter the class they will look at me wif a strange looks ? if not the whole class become quiet. some even say bad things abt me which the lecturer caught him. i feel very inferior to girls now. cos im stupid comes frm a poor family. pls do not intro me any girls anymore. i jus don like it. when im out wif px & gme, i sometimes feel extra(sorry to say that) cos they will always be playing. den i'll look ard, oberserving ppl. i feel that the world is really unfair. ppl are fucking rich and some are not. ppl ugly yet have pretty gf. all nice guys are being make used or bullied ? sometimes i really like to be at hm. i feel scare when im outside. im shy to know new ppl. im a nice guy. some said. i cant speak up for myself. im feeling really low in confident and in almost everything.
