all or nothing

Saturday, April 30, 2005, 8:16 PM

I've fallen in love for a gal. My fren wanna intro to me but she isnt in singapore at the moment. I don wanna add the gal in friendster cos think she will feel i'm those guys that fish in it and has caught her as prey. I jus wanna get to know her first and understand her more. I got no confidence in askin her as my gf evenn after we get to know each other. I'm jus too normal maybe ugly lookin to her. hai. all i can do is look at her pics.

Thats why i like bball soo much. cos its the only thing im gd at. when im playin. i'll have self confidence. i know wat i can do. in studies n relationship, im sure a failure.

Friday, April 22, 2005, 1:32 AM

I got a wonderful sis
i asked her whether she got a mat (for exercising use)
she said no
ok nvm
i do my sit up ( i'm startin to slim down my body mass =)
my mum saw it
she asked why i didnt use my sis mat
i was shocked cos my sis said she don have
my sis said she wanna use
my mum said share ( cos its brought by her )
den my mum went to take
the plastic wrapper wasnt even open yet
its brand new
wasnt even used b4
and my sis said she wanna use
KAO
wat a LIAR
since young she is liddat
wat a wonderful sis i got

Monday, April 18, 2005, 2:11 PM

I really admire those ppl tat dare to sing on stage. wif a large grp of ppl lookin at them. listening as they sing. criticise them some will do. but those singing up there don gif a dammn. they think they are the king of the world when they are singing.

i used to dream. of singing in my sec sch. everyone becum quiet. listening to me singing. lol. thats why its a dream. cos it'll never be fulfil.

i admit i don dare to sing on stage. i don sing well. thats why. but in bball. i dare to play infront of hundreds of ppl. which i have doned so many times. i don feel scare or nervous. cos i noe i can brin my A game. but singing on stage i'll becum chicken.

i only dare to sing at nite in my rm. alone.

Sunday, April 17, 2005, 12:14 AM

if u don have a cert in sg, u'll be looked down upon. $ is hard to be earn. unless u're born wif a golden spoon feedin u since u're born. life is cruel. society is cruel. thats wat i learn workin as a lift presser today.

the uncle cleaner cant enter the so called classy rm which has the lift access. he need to clean the lift, the buttons abt 1times per hr. if got ppl, he mus leave the rm immediately. or hide in a corner so that he will not be seen. only fuckin rich ppl live at the condo im workin. the maintenance fee is $744 per mth. and the standard size of the hm is 2400. costin u abt 2-3million. penthouse at the top lvl is abt 4-7millions. WTF !

imagine u've to stand in the lift for abt 8hrs. trapped in the lift alone wif the doors close. and when someone out dere press the lift, the door open and u still need to fuckin greet the person when u're sooo bored in dere. its alrite to me. its my job. but the thing tat pissed me off is not that some ppl don even bother to greet u back. its that when they return u wif (eyes rolled up, mouth move to the side, like a SIBEI DULAN FACE ! so wat if she was rich. don need to gif me tat lan jiao bian rite ? knn.

another thing, u'll get abused by small kids. they criticize me for lookin stupid and standin so str. when the maid wanna wipe the water ard the mouth. she fuckin push her ! 1vs1 ! wat a spoiled kid. i couldnt fuckin help her. i was helpless. but their mother was VERY friendly. one thing tat enlighten my day. she say thanks everytime u left the lift. think got 7 to 9 times. she was so busy, goin out, comin hm to change n go out again. rich ppl is liddat la.

my job is a job for those so called no studyin ppl or low class ppl. $ is precious. no $ = looked down. got $ = praise u till u wanna fly. like those ladies showin the ppl the empty space in the condo. think i got a bad feelin abt ladies wearin formal. workin at high class company. they seen proud to me. but some are nice. SOME only. it has also being like this. ladies wif degree or watever that they can boast. they're proud. they really expect guys to be rich. if not they don wan. thats wat i hear them gossipin abt. omg ! study hard ba ppl. the society is cruel.

Friday, April 15, 2005, 4:33 PM

Oh maan. i think i'm really fat. although when i wear t-shirts it cant be see. but i'm fat ! i'm weightin 75kg and over ! i donno the actual weight cos got no weightin machine. no bball = fatty me ! bball = injury ! i got support my weight now ! i've becum so stiff. cant move abt freely. not so flexible liao like last time. so agile.

The most impt thing i shocked is i cant even pull 2 pull-up ! ahhh. lousy me ! sec 5 i still pull 11pull up man ! omg ! i've becum a useless guy. without exercising. got a tummy.

maybe i shld jus stop living in the past. like my fren said me that i'm. i sure jus look forward ! i need to stop eatin so much and no excerise. i don wanna becum back to like me when i was in the lower sec !

Tml goin work. as a lift presser ! LOL ! 7hrs = $60. ok laa. easy job easy $ borin job seeing fuck up face in the lift !

Saturday, April 09, 2005, 2:22 AM

Hmm. think the security in condo really slack man. i could jus walk in, work out in the gym and swim in the swimming pool after that. i went to one in woodland and another one near my hm. but of cos i wont do anything like stealin or watever. hahaa. im kind !!

the slackest moment is not clubbin, cos u need to rock yr body and u need to pay ! its not stayin at hm the whole day doin nth or playin games. the slackest moment to me is huggin yr gf in bed ( not doin sex ) chattin softly, lookin at each other eyes, using your fingers to brush her hair back if it cover the eyes. and jus lie there the whole day zzz. or on the music softly. u're slackin and enjoyin time wif yr love one. awwwww.

its the time for love ! my feelin for gals is bacck. hahaa. love actually starts when u believe and not be soo picky ! first. how to becum handsome ? how to slim down ? somebody teach me plss. i got f9 for both.

Friday, April 01, 2005, 3:07 PM

Omg. I'm god damn heavenly fucking cheeebyeeee happy now. (sorry that i curse alot) I've jus returned (<-- Correct ? got ed not ?) frm my drivin lesson minutes agoo. Today is my 4th lesson, which mean i've 4hrs of drivin experience. and today is the first time i didnt STALK my car !!! its jus the beginning mann. my instructor praise me meh. haha. i'm pro.

sometimes i really feel that i'm jus too lazy to practice. like my teacher n coach. they both said that actually my power of learning is very gd. i can learn things very fast. like my studies. i'm too lazy to study or revise. but once i start i'll get gd result. in bball. i used to be a noob. bullied by my junior cos i donno how to play. but i've improved n achieved so much in jus 3years. now its drvin ! the thing i look forward to every week. to get my license asap ! so i can drive out n not stay at hm. as my mum always stay hm durin sat n sun except sometimes when she visit my grandma.

next wk i the start of exam. i hate exam. but it mean holiday is comin! gonna study man ! i don wanna fail any module ! oh yaaa. come on DEL. don go australia la. stay in sg n study. plss. if not we'll miss u. no one will be so blur. haha. aust no gd la. cant watch soccer. sg got scv leh. somemore got football crazy ! wat a niceeeeee show. wont u miss us ? though we noe each other for less den a year. 1a/22 will miss u lots if u really go. more den 70% will ! hahaa.

i jus realised something. i've not sit in a plane b4. have not travel further den m'sia. i used to be sooo quiet when i was small. though i donno how cum i becum so talkative la. my parents never took me out to shop. the most is relative hm. last time i remember my dad could go play mahjong. now still got but not as much as last time. den my mum will brin me to grandma hm. n i'll fight wif jimmy till we both cry. those were the days man. if not my mum will throw me at my ah ma hm. i miss her man. cos she isnt ard anymore. my childhood was spend 30% in my rm playin toys myself, 20% wif gangster fren who taught me alot of things, 40% wif my ah ma at her hm and 10% wif my mum outside shoppin. wat a life. i don hate them though. they are my family. i'm still a noob in the outside world. there is alot of things i donno. but i noe alot abt the difference face of human.

though i always tok abt sex n this n that which interest alot of u all. but i'm not as dirty as u guys thought. i'm still a virgin k ? 100% str too. though i got no gf for abt 2yrs. i got a tummy. thats the result of not playin bball. gonna rest to let my ankle recover.

i wonder why ppl like to comment abt me ? abt my looks, my attire, my age and my life. so wat if i got no gf ? i'm not despo. so don even say i fail to chase the gals i like cos i didnt even chase any. i'm enjoyin my life alone. zz till late wake up wif no burden. don need acc anyone except. but i got to admit that everyone need to have someone ard sometimes when yr fren cant help or be there. cos she/he is not the one.

this is a long blog man. haha. gonna stop here. sorry for any grammer or spelling error.